Updates

Let's get organized.

After months of researching, developing ideas, agonising, wanting to give up and being both excited and dulled I have reached the point where both of my ongoing art projects consist of actual stuff - pictures and video that is.
Am I content?
No.
But I am glad that I have at least something concrete as opposed to mere ideas.

Anyhow, let's talk about the video/dance piece first.
So, I edited this rather earsplitting darkwave noise music piece - would feel odd to call it a song but I guess that's what it is. I genuinely do not understand people who enjoy that genre. I took me several painful hours of fiddling with GarageBand to get that 5 and a half minutes into almost bearable 2 minutes but I did it. Another element I made was a contemporary dance choreography - the very first I've ever done, which involves a lot of smashing against the floor or otherwise brutalising myself.

My legs after two days' shooting.

The music and the motion had to be quite violent and even unpleasant in order to portray the forceful surge of discomfort aroused by a panic attack. An interesting aspect for me in this project is that I have not studied dance or performing arts, nor sound editing or film. I have been practising dance more or less frequently since a kid but I don't have a formal training really and I'm by no means anything like a pro. I also don't know rat's ass about editing moving image hence I have a friend with whom I'm working. Well currently she's supposed to be editing and I'm supposed to be doing nothing.
To give an apt update about the present situation is therefore quite impossible because after we finished filming I've only seen a few screenshots. I hope there is enough material to work with because booking the place we were filming in would most likely be problematic as it seemed to be quite popular.

Another benefit in having someone else than myself editing the video - in addition to the fact that I simply couldn't do it - is that I am so self-critical that I would probably end up leaving out a lot of perfectly satisfactory stuff for some silly, superficial reasons that are only perceivable by me in the first place. I don't often feel like I should be give credit for any so called skill of mine - and least of all dancing. But an important thing to know about this project is that it is not first and foremost a performance piece. Even though the emotions and sensations of not being able to breathe, of being scared, of panicking are brought forth through an act of contemporary dance, the choreography itself is not the main part of this. It is not essential that the viewer is able to see how each movement is executed, or that each movement is executed technically flawlessly. It is the overall visual experience gained through seeing - and hearing the final video piece that matters.
As I said, I don't know where the project is going right now and that's all alright. At least the picture quality looked good and I really like the lighting we accidentally stumbled on carefully constructed.

Have some screenshots.

To the other project.

Remember when I rambled about Finnish mythology and awesome feminine powers of nature?
A few days back me and my model, respectably, packed our bags full with makeup items, warm clothes and food, and took a bus to the Nuuksio national park here in the Southern Finland. Our intention - primarily my intention -  was to take some pictures in the beautiful, golden evening lighting and then at dawn in a more colder, silvery sunlight leaving the dark hours of the night for sleeping by the fire under the stars. Mind you, that's almost exactly what we managed to do.
The evening photoshoot went really nicely except that I'm not as happy with the pictures as I could be. The night went equally well and I was even able to sleep a couple of hours. Would probably managed more but I kind of wanted to keep an eye on the fire lest it should die out.
However, in the morning we had to abandon the shooting plans entirely since the universe decided to make my friend extremely unwell, and so there was nothing to do but leave. This turn of events was admittedly upsetting for me because now we don't have time to do a re-shoot before both of us have to hop on a plane and travel to our unis in the UK.
Regardless of this small drawback I do intend to carry out the rest of the plans I've set for this project. Right now there is some photoshopping to do - quite a lot really, and then I want to get one image developed on a canvas to imitate an oil painting. And then I hope some friend of mine has in their possession gold and silver paints and is willing to let me use them a bit as I'm going to attempt at making the canvas-printed photograph resemble a traditional oil painting even more by adding some details with paints on top of it.
But first, the challenge of looking at my photos objectively and choosing at least one that meets my standards. Trust me, it is easier said than done.

At least the nature was stunning.

And now I shall go to languish in the agony of inadequacy and lack of talent of any kind.